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Choice Mindsets

Choice Mindsets

17 Jun

Posted at 15:34h in Uncategorized

Casey Reichert:
“This is not how I thought my modeling career would go.”

 

 

Casey was recently asked to model something really glamorous: sanitary sewer. We tried to tell her how thrilling it would be—the effluent! the manholes! the forcemains!—but she knew the truth. Her modeling career would certainly put any New York supermodel (or sewer) to shame, but the results would always have to be hidden underground at a 0.40% slope.

 

We have a lot of opportunity to be spokespeople here. Between Dan’s survey ‘modeling’, Jake’s water modeling, and now Casey’s sewer modeling, we could be posing with lots of products and surely selling tens of… tens. Just think how passionate and persuasive we would be recommending our favorite things. It wouldn’t be long before everyone is thinking just like Choice One: Pizza! Doritos! Roundabouts!

 

You heard it here first, folks: green is the new black!

03 Jun

Posted at 13:14h in Uncategorized

Kristi Moorman:
“It looks like they’re playing Battleship.”

If you want to see intense engineers, have them try to access the same Excel spreadsheet at the same time while the whole company waits, staring. Then make that situation even more intense by telling them they look like they’re playing a game. (We won’t publish any of the “intensity” that might follow that statement.)
When playing the board game Battleship, some of us at Choice One have some “intense” strategies. As a Navy veteran, Craig Eley uses his nautical know-how to “always attack the corners first.” Nick Selhorst just spills his ships across the grid, letting them land where they may. Chris Fluegeman’s strategy is to distract the other player with his collection of dad jokes. And Kyle Siegrist keeps a detailed chart of how others place their ships, and then uses it against them to prove something irrelevant but never actually win.
If the photo above really was a game of Battleship, who would win? Matt’s strategy involves a complex three-by-three grid guessing system, which seems watertight (pun intended). Mike G.’s less than watertight strategy: “Uhhh, sink Matt’s ships?” We’ll just say it’s a toss-up…

19 May

Posted at 08:36h in Uncategorized

Craig Eley:
“I feel like a Transformer.”

We got a new fridge in our Sidney office, and that meant the old fridge went to live elsewhere. Craig Eley, “helping” with the move, just sort of wandered around holding the freezer door panel, looking rather robot-like.

Speaking of Transformers, what vehicles would the Choice One-bots convert into?

  • Nick Selhorst would be a Ford Focus just like his Choice One car.
  • Ryan Bruns would opt for a Blackhawk helicopter, but at his height, we think he’d better fold into a Reliant Robin.
  • Craig Frilling would, without hesitation, be his sweet 1989 GMC Safari van.
  • Matt Hoying would be the A-Team van. The humanoid version would clearly need a mohawk like B.A. Baracus. Hey, let’s shave your head today, Matt!

 

We’re guessing that Craig’s Transformer vehicle of choice would not be “Stainless Steel Refrigerator-mobile.” Indeed, he would prefer to be Cadillac Eldorado. However, because he has a few grey hairs, we’re guessing he’d probably actually transform into Dino-bot. Either way, he’s a classic!

06 May

Posted at 14:44h in Uncategorized

Brittany Clinehens:
“Is no one working today?”

 

Choice One’s Sidney office was out of power first thing one morning this week, and although the early birds in the office sent around a message that the office was dark, Brittany missed it. She was then confused since there were no lights on when she arrived, as if no one else was coming to work. (In her defense, the businesses across the street were lit up with power.)
So what happens at Choice One when there’s no power? First, we panic for irrational reasons (is there a battery backup for the coffee pot?!). Then we contemplate doing non-power/computer/server-related tasks we’ve been putting off—cleaning up our desks, tidying up the common areas, writing things on paper like in the old days. But then we come to our senses and keep working by heading to Burger King for the wi-fi (but mostly for a croissan’wich or two).
Thankfully, Brittany’s confusion and the power outage passed quickly. The power came on, typical work commenced, and no one had to actually clean up their desk. But we did take a third croissan’wich to go!

21 Apr

Posted at 16:10h in Uncategorized

Wes Wolters
“I left my calculator in the fridge again this morning.”

Boy, that’s the worst. You have a big day of engineering in front of you, and it hits you: you forgot your calculator in the fridge. Rats! Wes carries his calculator in with his lunch so he doesn’t forget to bring it from home each morning, and sometimes it accidently goes straight into the office fridge upon his arrival. Which means… he’s doing calculator-required math at home in his free time? Let’s hope he’s just studying for the P.E. exam and not that bored.

Even though we engineers love math so much we could probably eat it for lunch, perhaps Wes might consider packing something a little more appetizing. Perhaps he could bring a fruit salad of apples, grapes, canta-slopes and tangent-erines? Maybe carrots, celery, and radii-shes? Or more realistically, since we tend to be more of a sweets crowd, he could share with all of us a couple slices of cherry “pi.”

Hope your calculator quickly thaws for use, Wes. Because when math, food, and engineering collide, magic happens! And apparently bad puns, too.

09 Apr

Posted at 07:21h in Uncategorized

Brittany Clinehens:
“How do you adjust signal timings?”

Craig Eley:
“We have special tools: we’re traffic engineers.”

 

 

We all know by now that traffic engineers are pretty much superheroes. But now we have learned that not only do they have special brains, but they have special tools, too!

 

With 30+ years of traffic engineering experience, Craig has been adjusting traffic signal timings for many moons. Considering Craig’s continued enthusiasm for signal timings, which is almost as intense as his enthusiasm for roundabouts, these “special tools” must be pretty high-tech. Maybe a special radar speed detecting gun? An intricate stopwatch with laser beams? A flux capacitor?!

 

Unless we’re mistaken, based on the photo, the “special tools” needed to adjust signal timings are… hands. So while we know you’re a great traffic engineer, Craig, we’re a little concerned that you’re not very up-to-date on basic human anatomy—most people have hands. However, if you really do use a fancy stopwatch and we come across a box of lasers under your desk, your superhero secret is safe with us.