Choice Mindsets

Choice Mindsets

“You know it’s bad when Jeff Kunk is making fun of you.”
–  Megan Bornhorst

 

We’re not sure if Megan’s proclamation is a compliment to Jeff Kunk or not. Is he too polite to make fun of anyone? Or is he so awkward that anyone he’s making fun of must be REALLY awkward? Either way, it’s not a good omen for the one being teased. (It may not come as a surprise that Mr. Kunk was comparing Mitch’s height to that of a fourth grader. Sorry, Mitch.)

If Megan’s statement above is true, then Jeff is in the minority at Choice One. If you haven’t caught on yet, we like to pick on each other, to the point of doing so publicly in these Choice Mindsets. What Jeff, Mitch, and the rest of the Choice One crew knows, however, is that our ability to laugh with each other and at ourselves is a big key to making our organization a fun place to work for and (hopefully) enjoyable to work with.

We might even suggest that if there’s no razzing going on among us, then something is wrong. Likewise, our beloved clients tend to get the same treatment, as we’ll see in some future Choice Mindsets. Not that any of you should be nervous [evil laugh].

“What doesn’t the ‘L’ stand for? Loser?”

– Wes Goubeaux

 

Loser, Wes? “L” stands for Loveland! Duh.

Every year on Choice One’s “birthday,” October 24, Brian Barhorst makes little “1” cookies to celebrate. In fact, this upcoming October 24, will be Choice One’s 18th birthday. Bring on the lottery, cigarettes, and finally moving out of our parents’ house!

Now that the Loveland office has been up and running for a year, Brian decided to celebrate its first “birthday” on August 30. Not wanting to make “1” cookies for Loveland, Brian made “L” for Loveland (c’mon, Wes, the only losers around here are the Chicago Cubs).

We want to make a pretty big deal that Loveland Choice One has turned one, especially considering the music academy directly above the office features beginner clarinet lesson each week. They’ve made new friends like the City of Loveland and Clermont County, completed some great projects, and successfully eaten at every restaurant within walking distance of 203 W. Loveland Avenue.

So happy birthday Loveland Choice One. Who doesn’t love celebrating birthdays? Well, probably not Tony or Jeff Puthoff, because they’re old.

“Two heads ARE better than one!”
– Megan Bornhorst

 

It’s really best NOT to ask about the story behind this particular photo, its corresponding glasses, and weird Kaye mask that Brittany has donned. Suffice it to say that there was once a terrible cellphone camera photo taken of Kaye in said glasses that just keeps popping up in various places, including a Choice One bathroom cabinet, a laser tag facility in Indianapolis, and, obviously, on Brittany’s face.

Regardless of the origin of the photo, it’s important to note that two Kayes would definitely be better than one for several reasons. First of all, these Choice Mindsets would get really off-the-wall. Second of all, the annual Cornhole Tournament would be more elaborate and our clients would have to throw cornbags in even more ridiculous ways. Finally, having two minds and two different viewpoints to consider and debate an issue typically leads to a more practical, useable idea, solution, project, or plan of attack.

 

Of course, one has to look at the negatives, too. Naturally, Kaye is (or thinks she is) always right, so if she had two heads they would always agree with each other. Which kind of defeats the purpose of putting two minds togethering in the first place…

“You know, when Nick started here he was a nice, respectable guy. It only took seven years to corrupt him to be like us.”

– Jeff Puthoff

We all have our share of bad days full of mishaps. But engineer Nick Sanders has bad days and makes the mistake of sharing his misadventures (and sending photos of himself yelling in the car after a particularly frustrating event, even knowing it may end up in a Choice Mindset).

 Let’s see… There was his wife’s parrot that attacked him, the gas pump line he tripped over (causing a severely sprained elbow, which in turn caused him to miss watching the OSU-Michigan football game), the curtain at the blood drive he fell into and knocked down, the dead bird in his toolbox, the search for his grandfather’s severed arm in a cornfield…

 

Despite all of the screaming in the car, in reality, Nick is willing to share his mishaps and commiserate with us about occasional unfortunate luck because dealing with frustration is easier when you can laugh at the situation.  Perhaps a little Choice One sarcasm has rubbed off on him (as Jeff pointed out), but really, Nick’s the type of guy that won’t let a mistaken drug bust along the highway in Colorado* get him down.

 

*Yes, this really happened. While on vacation with his family, Nick was pulled over and his van, packed to the brim for a road trip, was completely torn apart by the State Police who for some reason thought he was part of a drug cartel. He’s a suspicious-looking guy, don’t you think?

Jeff Puthoff: “Why is only one of your toenails purple?”

Kaye: “It’s a shout-out* to Choice One.”

Jeff: “You’re weird.”

 

This, coming from the guy who wears a Choice One Engineering shirt to Christmas mass…

You’d think we’d get tired of seeing green and purple around here, but obviously we don’t. It’s kinda been drilled into our brain, like those weirdoes who only wear green shirts because wearing a red shirt might imply that they like Case IH tractors over John Deere tractors (see “guy who wears Choice One shirts to Christmas mass,” above). It’s actually to the point to where when we see each other outside of work (and therefore not in green), we don’t recognize each other.

 

The purpose of the constant green is twofold. First, it’s really handy for when you’re trying to find each other in a crowded seminar. Second, wearing the same color makes us recognizable, equal, and unified. And as the old saying goes, “There is no “i” in team, but there is a “u” in skunk.

 

*This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home… And this little piggy cried “Choice One!” all the way home! Now that’s a real shout-out to Choice One on your toes.

I don’t buy it–using simple math.

18 acres of pizza = 112,907,520 square inches of pizza. I think Choice One could easily do 1/80000 of that themselves (five and a half 18” pizzas), which is approximately 1,411 square inches of pizza.

At 12:31pm on October 13th [2011], the U.S. population is 312,414,653. At 12:31 pm on October 13th [2011], the Choice One Engineering population is approximately 24. Choice One can eat approximately 59 square inches of pizza per person per day.

For America to eat 18 acres of pizza a day, that requires each person to eat 0.36 square inches of pizza. This means that the average American eats 1/164 the amount of pizza that Choice One People do in one day.

Thus, the 18-acre number is way too low. If they all ate as much as we do, America would eat 2,939 acres of pizza per day.

Just one more stat proving America is going weak. Another way to look at this is that Choice One people are 164 times better than the average American.”

–Matt Hoying

 

 

We’re not sure what we can add here that Matt hasn’t already asserted. Leave it to an nerdy engineer to dissect a random comment and analyze it to a fraction equaling 0.0060975609756098.

Maybe the lesson here is “check your facts,” or “don’t assume an average,” especially if you’re dealing with a geeky engineer. For us, the lesson is obviously “find more constructive work for Matt to do.” (Although in reality, Matt will get his constructive work done and still help Michael and Mitch make $15 of pizza money change with two five-dollar bills before they come to blows.)