Choice Mindsets

18 Aug Inside Joke

Craig Eley:
“We’re engineers. Our laughter is on the inside.”

If it’s not completely obvious, we caught a rare photo (above) of engineers laughing hysterically at a joke. Not convinced? Think about it: they’re actually looking at the camera and not their shoes.

Engineers are often stereotyped as introverts who hold everything in. Since it’s a bit of a mystery, then, what else might be inside of Choice One’s engineers? Let’s see, there’s certainly a continuous flow of coffee. Add to that a fair amount of dirt/dust (a complex blend of construction, farmer, and ball diamond). Unquestionably, any number of naps. And, of course, Arby’s, Burger King, doughnuts, Starburst, Pop-Tarts, and Mt. Dew. And that’s just Brian Schmidt after breakfast!

All joking aside (lest our engineers yuk it up even MORE than in the photo), we think civil engineering and surveying offer a lot of opportunities for enjoyment (find 153 such examples here). And in case you’re curious, the joke Kaye told our engineers to get them to “laugh” above? “I promise I’m not taking a photo for a Mindset!”

04 Aug Slush Fun

Kaye Borchers:
“Nothing says ‘important meeting’ like a blue slushy.”

We don’t blame you, Matt, for sipping on that cup of vibrant raspberry goodness regardless of your meeting’s significance. Indeed, when there’s an “Alligator Ice” machine running just outside your office door, it would be a crime to NOT have a slushy at all times.

Matt’s cheery, bright beverage reminds us that in our sometimes hectic Choice One days, there is always room for a little blue (or green?) sugar. Whether it’s a slushy, cartwheels down the hallway, or stilt-walking with clients, we at Choice One recommend taking time to have a little fun. And based on our sweet treats, acrobatics, and amazing feats of height and balance, we might further implicate that Jeff Puthoff is part circus clown.

So thanks, Matt, for showing us how a simple slushy amid busy times can (literally) brighten our days. One piece of advice, though: next time, make sure it’s a green slushy. Else you owe us lunch.

21 Jul On Cloud Wine

Joan Schroeder (Tony’s wife):
“Good thing they didn’t have a ‘Tony’s Green’ or we would have to buy all of Choice One one of those!”

Tony and his wife Joan have hit the pavement on two wheels again and are currently bicycling around the Finger Lakes of New York*. When they discovered that a winery shared Tony’s name, they stopped. Joan commented, “Their bottles say ‘Anthony’ and ‘Tony’ on them. We bought a Tony’s Red, a Tony’s White, and a Tony’s Blush.” But sadly, as stated, there was no Tony’s Green.

If we were going to develop a line of wines to represent civil engineers, we could certainly have more fun NOT naming them after Tony. Perhaps our hypothetical Choice One Winery could produce varieties such as Rip-Rap Red, Butterfly Valve Bubbly, Sediment Control Shiraz, Meter Pit Merlot, and, of course, Pino Green-gio. We could brew beer, too! Who wouldn’t want an Aggregate Base Ale, Intermediate Course IPA, or Mast Arm Malt? (We could serve them all at our pub-style restaurant called Choice One’s Clearing and Grub!)

It’s probably best that there was no Tony’s Green wine for purchase (and also best that our design skills are less corny than our beverage naming skills). If Tony had to tote 40 bottles of wine on his bicycle, there would be no end to his “wining,” especially when encountering any of those pesky headwinds he has been known to complain about. Plus, if we keep picking on him when he’s not here, we can produce a different kind of “Tony’s Blush” or, eventually, some “Tony’s Red.” (We’ll assume “Tony’s White” is only produced when he falls down and gives himself a concussion playing volleyball.)

*Check out Tony and Joan’s adventures on their blog!

07 Jul Fork in the Road

Kaye Borchers:
“Craig, you better reschedule your family vacation. Else you’re going to miss registering for OTEC at the first moment possible.”

25-year traffic engineering veteran Craig Eley has been faced with an incredibly anxiety-ridden decision: go camping in Michigan with his family OR register (yes, just register) on the very first day possible for ODOT’s annual Ohio Transportation Engineering Conference. Indeed, in Craig’s Squaresville world of traffic engineering, this is actually a difficult decision.

Really, it’s a good thing we have enthusiastic traffic engineers like Craig. With all of the technical workings and acronyms surrounding traffic engineering, it would be easy to get a little lost without their educational directional signage. For instance, Craig makes sure we know that RRFB stands for Rectangular Rapid Flashing Beacon, not Bacon. (Bummer, that.) But most importantly, because he is the most “senior” of our traffic engineers, Craig gets to have final say in the traffic engineers’ quarrels about the minutiae of traffic engineering. (Craig, we know you’ll side with Matt since he now grades the company meeting quizzes and you’re a brown-noser!)

Don’t worry, Craig, if you elect to go on vacation, someone here at Choice One will make sure you’re registered ASAP. We would NEVER play a cruel joke and tell you you’re registered when you’re not. (Then, when you show up to the conference in October, they won’t let you in and you’ll get really upset and you’ll be put on some kind of “banned from OTEC for life” list. Because something like that TOTALLY exists.) Seriously, we’d never do that… Or would we?

Choose wisely, Craig. Choose very, very wisely.

23 Jun Scent Sense

Brian Schmidt:
“I make a lot of engineering decisions in the course of a day. This is not one of them.”

For a water distribution engineer like Brian Schmidt, weighing options like ductile iron pipe and PVC pipe comes easily. But bathroom fragrances? Not so much.

While perfumes like “Moonlight Path” and “Love Spell” don’t make much sense to Brian, we could imagine some Choice One colognes that might:

• “Soothing Survey Truck” – A luxurious blend of wooden stakes, mud, and fluorescent marking paint, with hints of Mt. Dew and rubber boots. Bottled onsite in our unique, high-visibility safety green bottle.
• “Break Room Bouquet” – Choice One lunchtime inspired, this exotic fusion blends reheated pizza and burnt fish sticks with undertones of Arby’s Sauce and Cool Ranch Doritos. Limited edition.
• “Eau de Engineer” – Carefully developed over many years in the Choice One labs, our signature fragrance blends blue ink, printer toner, and doughnuts with elements of keyboard crumbs and strong coffee. Available in two varieties: “Pocketless Green,” for men, and “Practicality Purple,” for women.

Perhaps if this whole engineering thing doesn’t work out, we can start selling these scents at local department stores. (Just imagine surveyors Jeff North and Eric Kuck politely offering shoppers a spritz of “Spicy Summer Surveyor.”). Until then, Brian, stick to the easy engineering decisions you understand, like gravity versus forcemain and Burger King versus Chipotle.

09 Jun Window Pain

Tyler Thobe:
“Oh my gosh! There’s a window in Matt’s office?”

He’s been walking past the president’s office for five years, but it took until this week for engineer Tyler Thobe to notice the window Matt is awkwardly peering in above. Thankfully, Tyler is attentive when it comes to storm water design, not to mention when breakfast cereal is in his immediate vicinity.

To prove to Tyler that the window has always existed, we present the following evidence.

• Flat Tony posed in front of the window while Real Tony was out riding a bike for “vacation.”
• The Ghost of Choice One is aware of that window, and we’re pretty sure she can’t even see through her sheet.
• Nick “Goldilocks” Sanders has enjoyed a just right bowl of porridge in front of that window.

We could bore Tyler with more photographic proof of the window, but at this point, we’ll spare him a little embarrassment. Plus, we’ll cut him a break: in truth, the blinds are always closed to keep pesky, unwanted people like Matt from staring in.