06 May In the Dark
“Is no one working today?”
“Is no one working today?”
“I left my calculator in the fridge again this morning.”
Boy, that’s the worst. You have a big day of engineering in front of you, and it hits you: you forgot your calculator in the fridge. Rats! Wes carries his calculator in with his lunch so he doesn’t forget to bring it from home each morning, and sometimes it accidently goes straight into the office fridge upon his arrival. Which means… he’s doing calculator-required math at home in his free time? Let’s hope he’s just studying for the P.E. exam and not that bored.
Even though we engineers love math so much we could probably eat it for lunch, perhaps Wes might consider packing something a little more appetizing. Perhaps he could bring a fruit salad of apples, grapes, canta-slopes and tangent-erines? Maybe carrots, celery, and radii-shes? Or more realistically, since we tend to be more of a sweets crowd, he could share with all of us a couple slices of cherry “pi.”
Hope your calculator quickly thaws for use, Wes. Because when math, food, and engineering collide, magic happens! And apparently bad puns, too.
“How do you adjust signal timings?”
“We have special tools: we’re traffic engineers.”
We all know by now that traffic engineers are pretty much superheroes. But now we have learned that not only do they have special brains, but they have special tools, too!
With 30+ years of traffic engineering experience, Craig has been adjusting traffic signal timings for many moons. Considering Craig’s continued enthusiasm for signal timings, which is almost as intense as his enthusiasm for roundabouts, these “special tools” must be pretty high-tech. Maybe a special radar speed detecting gun? An intricate stopwatch with laser beams? A flux capacitor?!
Unless we’re mistaken, based on the photo, the “special tools” needed to adjust signal timings are… hands. So while we know you’re a great traffic engineer, Craig, we’re a little concerned that you’re not very up-to-date on basic human anatomy—most people have hands. However, if you really do use a fancy stopwatch and we come across a box of lasers under your desk, your superhero secret is safe with us.
“Sammy? That’s A LOT of boxes!”
What’s with all the boxes? Charity Cup, that’s what! And thanks to our clients and friends, we raised over $8,000 for the Miami Valley Down Syndrome Association and Ronald McDonald House Charities! THANK YOU!
This year’s event was a virtual trivia contest, and each participating team received a box of snacks, drinks, and Choice One swag in advance of the event to help them celebrate from wherever they logged on. Graphic Designer Sammy Kuck was busy packing up the party (can you find her?), and was a little hard to find among the veritable fortress of boxes. We found her back, don’t worry, and the event went off without a hitch (and without losing anyone). The trivia contest winners? The Village of Fort Loramie–Adam Schmiesing, Abby Bergman, and John Puckett, along with Choice One’s Mitch Thobe!
We couldn’t be more appreciative of the big-heartedness of our clients and friends for donating to such great causes. Each and every year you all blow us away with your generosity to and enthusiasm for the MVDSA and all of the great causes supported by the Charity Cup. Thanks for once again bringing joy to the wonderful people in our community who are so positively impacted by your support. We look forward to seeing you next year!
I just caught Sammy in her “work” mittens.
It’s not that we try to keep it cold at Choice One. It just… happens.
There are benefits to a cold office. First, we keep our field surveyors well-seasoned for work outside in cold weather (although not Alaska cold, Eric, we still don’t get a chopper). Second, it matters less when there isn’t any room in the fridge for our lunches. And third, we get to do extra of one of our favorite things: wearing green (in layers, naturally).
There’s no shame in “work” mittens, Sammy. As our graphic designer, we need you to stay warmed up and ready for anything, like sketching graphics for Choice One promotional stuff and developing cool project renderings. Unfortunately, though, mittens aren’t going to help you with your most daunting task: getting engineers to cooperate on Christmas card photos, music videos, or anything beyond perfect right angles (or the occasional roundabout circle). For that, you may need to trade your mittens in for boxing gloves.
“Yes, I do keep a chart of when I stand up and sit down at my adjustable desk.”
Why Kyle keeps track of the number of times he stands at his current adjustable-height desk is a murky, mythical legend at Choice One. There was something about Allen Bertke asking for a stand-up desk and Kyle nobly relinquishing his stand-up desk to Allen in an act of tremendous generosity. Then Allen “allegedly” never using the stand-up feature and Kyle becoming bitter and something, something, something…
Kyle’s stand-up/sit-down log shouldn’t be a surprise. If you haven’t noticed, we like to keep track of irrelevant things out of spite. Like the number of times Jeff Kunk has bought doughnuts (0), the number of times Nick Selhorst has spilled his drink (54), and the number of times we’ve told Jeff Puthoff he’s old (officially 7—as recorded by Lexy’s calendar—but in actuality more like millions).
If we’re keeping track of things, we have to count the number of times Kyle has frowned at Allen (just over the wall in the photo) about his desk/seat/everything (2,190), which is statistically more than Kyle has actually used his stand-up desk. Kyle, you don’t have to prove your worth to us with charts and logs: we love ya no matter how many times you whine about… er, use the stand-up desk.