Jeff Kunk: “You were still in diapers when I brought my donuts in.”

One of Choice One’s longest-running traditions is that new hires bring donuts to celebrate their first paycheck. So, when Caleb Sutherin, a former co-op turned full-time hire, pleaded guilty to not bringing in donuts, the discussion turned to sentencing. One proposed verdict was accrued donut interest, unexpectedly reopening a decades-old case with a new defendant: Jeff Kunk.

The charges against Jeff were simple. More than 30 years at Choice One and still no confirmed donut delivery. Unsurprisingly, Jeff disputed the charges. He argued that the allegations had grown old after appearing in multiple past Mindsets, then attempted to redirect blame to an innocent and unsuspecting colleague, before finally resting his case with the statement above, despite past evidence to the contrary.

Ultimately, the jury is still out. Did the donuts exist? Has the statute of limitations expired? Was Jeff framed? We may never know. What we do know is that for the time being, Kunk’s case remains open. Case adjourned.

Matt Hoying: “This is a message from your friendly front desk attendant…”

With Megan on vacation and Abbeyon maternity leave, two unexpected figures were called up from the minors to cover the front desk: Matt Hoying and Justin Puthoff. While still balancing their regular responsibilities, the pair stepped up to the plate to answer the phones, greet visitors, and keep everything running smoothly.

Nick Selhorst: “Why does Eric have a giant pile of Squishmallows at his desk?”

There’s no question that Choice One’s survey crew is packed with action heroes. They pilot drones, battle swarms of gnats, and have even starred in an A-Team-style video showcasing their skills in the field. But every now and then, we get a glimpse of their softer side.

Matt “East” Hollowell: “Took you long enough.”

Every survey site comes with unexpected challenges. Sometimes it is a steep bank into a stream. Sometimes it is an unfriendly raccoon in a catch basin. And sometimes it is realizing that the truck you need is currently running in the middle of a job site—with the keys locked inside.

Aaron Plas: “Look! No hands!”

Many know Aaron as one of our Survey Coordinators, but he’s also Choice One’s unofficial Office Wizard. When something around the office breaks, sticks, rattles, or just doesn’t seem quite right, Aaron is usually on the case before anyone can say “abracadabra.”

Just this week, Megan Bornhorst witnessed Aaron holding the front door open with only the power of his mind. His triumphant announcement above did little to quiet the rumors. Some witnesses claim a doorstop was involved, but the evidence remains inconclusive.

Then again, Choice One has a history of unexplained phenomena. For example, we’ve uncovered a magic carpet hidden in our logo and have the uncanny ability to transform almost anything into a roundabout. Maybe Aaron’s wizardry isn’t so far-fetched after all. Thanks, Aaron, for using your powers for good.

Kari Meyer: “Do you notice something different about this picture?”

While out refreshing her headshot, Casey Reichert found a Choice One fan in the wild. Literally. As you can see, this fan took the form of a very excitable squirrel who chose that exact moment to photobomb the camera at full speed.

Choice Oners seem to be particularly prone to attracting fuzzy friends. Like the time a dog joined our survey crew for the day, or when a bird was so eager to check out our new office it flew straight into the window. Maybe animals are drawn to us because they are great judges of character. Or maybe our aspiring boy-band star, Kyle Siegrist, has been out there singing to them Snow White style. Hard to say.