Choice Mindsets

Choice Mindsets

Megan Bornhorst:
“Good thing Kaye has those fake tiny hands to use this tiny keyboard!”
We recently purchased a rather large TV for one of the expanded Sidney office conference rooms, and it came with a rather small keyboard. While we’re sure using this tiny keyboard is more efficient than “typing” with the TV remote, it still seems a little, well… little.


Good thing Kaye keeps a pair of tiny hands* “handy” in her desk. Why? Well, for starters, they make her long, goofy arms even longer for reaching behind desks. They help give her fellow Choice Oners a little pat on the back. And they provide a tiny bit of applause during a Ryan Francis pity party. Plus, without those tiny hands, the conference room TV/computer would be more frustrating to manipulate than Matt’s ridiculously nerdy spreadsheets.


In this day and age, technology seems to be getting both bigger (as in 100-inch TVs) and smaller (as in nano-chips [which are not nearly as tasty as Dorito-chips]). Choice One is no different-not only do we employ little hands for little challenges, we employ tall employees for taller challenges–such as frustrating Mitch.


*Complements of the 2018 Greene County Township Association Holiday Party.

Matt Hoying:
“You’re planning on flying the whole company over to Spain for Christmas, right Ryan?”


Believe it or not, the routinely clumsy, ungraceful folks at Choice One have a legit professional athlete in our midst. Recent Ohio Northern University grad and Choice One employee Ryan Bruns is on his way to play professional basketball for team Aquimisa Carbajosa in Salamance, Spain. Since Choice One and ONU have pretty much taught Ryan everything he knows (although Choice One has nothing to do with any athletic abilities, obviously), we’re pretty proud of Ryan and are excited to watch him succeed on the court overseas.

Disappointingly, Ryan hasn’t formally offered to fly us all to Spain (yet). We can only deduce that he’s afraid that we’ll somehow embarrass him. As if! What could he possibly be concerned about? That some of our engineers would never make it to his games because they would get caught up admiring the hundreds of roundabouts in Spain? That we’d somehow show up his professional teammates with our remarkable basketball skills? Or, worst of all, we would convince his team to dress in green and purple instead of their traditional orange and red?!

Ryan, we would NEVER embarrass one of our own, so enjoy your time overseas without cause for worry. We’ll stay back here in Ohio—a safe 4,000 miles away—while you experience the world. Just try not to forget about us. We’ll be sure to keep our calendars open over Christmas this year. Feliz Navidad!

P.S. There’s another couple of Choice Oners in Europe right now: Tony and Joan Schroeder are on their 25th Choice One Anniversary trip: another bicycle adventure! This time they’re pedaling from Zurich, Switzerland, to Budapest, Hungary. Follow their travels at

Chris Fluegeman:
“I studied detention a lot in school. I was detained after school and released slowly.”

In the engineering world, we often talk about the detention and retention of storm water (typically in manmade basins), and it’s easy to confuse one with the other. Thankfully, our surveyor Chris has provided us a real-life analogy to help us remember that a detention basin is typically an empty, depressed span of grass and a retention basin is typically full of water (and probably full of cheerfulness, too).

The photo, obviously, was staged to reflect Chris’s continued misbehavior that once landed him in “detention.” I bet you can almost hear the beautiful sing-song voices of our Loveland staff chanting “You can’t survey in Mason, you have to sit by the basin!” Or even worse (at least according to the perpetually-hungry Brian Schmidt), “You won’t eat Skyline a bit. In detention you must sit!”

Chris, we’re confident your behavior has vastly improved since junior high school. But if you (or any other hooligans in Loveland) misbehave, we know that the threat of “detention” is just outside the doors of Choice One’s new Loveland office. Take note: we’ll be forced to use best engineering practices to decide how slowly you get released.

Wes Goubeaux:
“Destroyed with water leak.”

Remember when Megan gave us all hugs for Christmas in 2013? Well, Wes’s coupon was ruined in a recent water leak. A HUGE disappointment for Wes, we’re sure.

Thankfully, other than the coupon, there wasn’t much permanent water damage. We feel pretty lucky, especially considering the old, priceless treasures we’ve been keeping around here.

  • The oldest item at Steve’s desk, other than Steve himself, is an architect scale he bought in 1967 for high school drafting class.
  • Lexy has kept an old pocket reference book that she inherited from whomever previously sat at her desk. You know, just in case she needs to look up the area code of the Caribbean island of Montserrat or how to convert butts to bushels.*
  • Both Tyler Thobe and Brian Schmidt have the same hydraulic slide rule dated 1987. This is interesting because 1) their desks are about 100 miles apart, and 2) that slide rule is three years older than Tyler.
  • Brian Barhorst and Jeff Kunk annually share displaying a 1997 USSSA Softball Trophy from the glory days of the Choice One-sponsored softball team. 2019 is Kunk’s year to feature it on his desk, in case you were wondering.


Despite the coupon being old and damaged, Megan told Wes the offer for a hug was always valid. Yet as an honest gentleman, Wes didn’t want to take advantage of a potentially questionable coupon. Don’t worry Megan—we’re sure Wes wants a hug… why else was he hanging on to a six-year-old coupon?

*And because you probably want to know, 1 butt = 13.54 bushels.

Michael Kunzi:
“I opened the photo. I comprehended the photo. And I was still fooled. Am I that dumb?”

New employee Michael* Kunzi, or just “Kunzi” as we call him, was tricked into helping move a box that Megan was hiding in. And as stated, he saw a shared photo of Megan getting into the box, knew Megan was waiting in the box to surprise him, and STILL came lickety-split to help move said box when summoned.

No, you’re not dumb, Kunzi, we’re just clever jokesters (at least for engineers). Be careful, you never know when we’ll get you. Sometimes the practical jokes are as simple as our recent attempt to surprise the UPS guy. Others become much more elaborate, however, like sending a $250 invoice to the Ohio Governor’s Office (which Kaye still claims was an accident, not a practical joke).

Keep being willing and helpful Kunzi, and we promise you’ll be rewarded (someday) with more than embarrassment. Plus, since you’re new here, we’ll cut you a break: this is your slightly overdue warning that we may have a practical joke or two up our sleeves (though sadly not in our pockets).

*Yes, we have another Michael to deal with—meaning that 8% of our employees are now named Michael.

Kecia Flaute:
“If you give a Green Shirt a box…”

If you’re not familiar with it, Kecia is rephrasing a well-known children’s book titled If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. And in this day and age of next-day shipping, there’s never a lack of cardboard in our office.

So for today’s enjoyment, Inquiring Mindsets wants to know: what DOES happen when you give a Choice Oner a box?

We always issue a standard challenge: “Think you can fit in that box?”
We use them to build things. Forts, walls, basketball hoops. You know, typical stuff.
We work hard to use the box to hide and scare each other… as well as surprise any unsuspecting visitors.
(That’s Brittany in the box scaring the UPS guy. He said he couldn’t ship Brittany in the box because it had a FedEx label. Looks like we’re stuck keeping her around.)

[Video here.]