Choice Mindsets

18 May “I Was in the Pool!”

“There is rarely an event at Choice One that doesn’t correspond to an event in an episode of Seinfeld.”

-Kaye Borchers

Whether you’ve seen or you like Seinfeld or not, we feel that the premise that “it’s a show about nothing” is not quite accurate. To us here at Choice One, it’s really a show about mundane, everyday life situations (don’t we all know a local version of the Soup Nazi?) spiced up by fairly typical people responding hilariously to mundane, everyday life situations. And while the characters on Seinfeld are perhaps a little over the top, who doesn’t know a few Kramers that turn out to be dear friends? (Indeed, there are many “Kramers” here at Choice One…)

16 May Paid Vacation

Recent text message conversation between Tony and Brittany (YES! Tony knows how to text!):

We’re still collecting donations to help send Tony away on another long bicycle ride (thanks to all of you who have already made private donations—we won’t reveal your identity to Tony). However, we’re one step closer, as Tony ordered a new bike and it arrived recently while he was out of the office.

With Tony away again, we could repurpose his office for poker games, ping-pong, and buffets. But that got us thinking: if we could send a few more people away, what could we “accomplish” around here?

• If we could send Brian Barhorst away, we could abuse The Canteen. (Oh wait, we already do that…)
• If we could send Wes Goubeaux away, we would NOT have to hear about the Chicago Cubs every single day.
• If we would send Michael Seeger, Ryan Lefeld, and Eric Kuck away, we could stop having to endlessly discuss all the frilly details of their upcoming weddings. Really guys, you should stop stressing so much over flower arrangements, how to drape the tulle on the head table, and deciding which cufflinks the groomsmen should wear.

While all that does sound tempting, we’re probably best when we’re together—we have and can accomplish pretty great things as a team. You know, like eating more pizza than the average American and “helping” each other out when it’s time to do the dirty work.

02 May The Cheesiest

Greg: “You have a random bag of Doritos in your car right now?”
Megan: “There’s no such thing as a random bag of Doritos.”

We take our snacks seriously here, if you haven’t noticed. But as our resident Eagle Scout Brian Barhorst can tell us, the point here is that of the Boy Scouts: “Always be prepared.”

Lots of us here have random (and non-random) items in our cars. There are lots of practical items, like a manhole hook, a safety vest, or jumper cables. But there are seemingly less practical items, too, until their convenience is linked to the driver of the vehicle:

• Brittany keeps a feather bed in the back of her minivan, and Kaye keeps a pillow and blanket right there on-hand in the backseat. You never know when the opportunity may arise for a good nap.
• Jeff Puthoff maintains a fine coating of soybean dust in his car. You know, for farmer purposes.
• Tony keeps two- and three-year-old Choice One Christmas gifts in his trunk in case he needs an emergency snack. Nothing like three-year old Oreos and Twizzlers to avoid diabetic shock.
• Allen Bertke reports that he has a half-bag of cold patch (for asphalt repair) in his car. Apparently he’s taking this winter’s pothole situation into his own hands…

Whether it’s a bag of popsicle sticks and a funnel (Michael Seeger) or a four-foot level (Brian Schmidt), all of us at Choice One maintain a healthy ration of randomness. And Megan’s right, there is no such thing as a random bag of Doritos; in this office, we don’t let those delicious, cheesy delicacies randomly sit around for long.

18 Apr Hanging Out

“Casey, I would consider sitting in a different area. At least until we know this thing will stay up there.”
– Jeff Puthoff

04 Apr Purse Strings

“Tony, thanks for the new briefcase. I just found a half- eaten piece of toast in my current one.”
– Caray Schmiesing

Some might call it strange, but we call it practical: our controller Caray often works from home, and she transports her most precious possessions (calculator, highlighter, Diet Coke) with… a coffee box.

Don’t laugh! This is practical for many reasons:

• Every time we finish a box of coffee? New briefcase!
• White and brown are fashionable neutrals that match everything. Want a splash of color? Take the decaf box, with its bright orange packing tape.
• Traveling for business? There’s no way that box is getting confused in a sea of black and brown bags.
• Have an emergency shipping (or toast-eating) situation? No problem! There’s always a box on hand.

What it really comes down to is that Caray isn’t concerned about looking fashionable, she’s more about getting the work done and done with accuracy, right down to the last cent. (Which is certainly an important trait of a controller.) And when every cent matters, she’s awfully lucky that Tony offers her a new, FREE briefcase every week!

21 Mar I’d Like to Buy a Vowel

“Spelling Dan’s last name is like spelling ‘Mississippi:’ P-RR-E-RR-I-RR-A.”
– Kaye Borchers

So someone may have accidentally slipped an extra ‘R’ into Dan Perreira’s name on some shirts we had made. We won’t mention any names, but it starts with an “M” and ends with a “egan.”

Hopefully Dan wasn’t too offended. Come to think of it, if we would add an extra letter or two to some of our other last names here, we could make some improvements:

• Brian and Wes Goubeaux could become Brian and Wes Goubeauxi. Because really, the only vowel missing in their last names is ‘i.’
• Ryan Lefeld could become Ryan “Leftfield.” You know, ’cause he’s pretty out there…
• Mike Goettemoeller could become Mike “Geoetetemeoelelere.” That way there’s an ‘e’ after EVERY letter instead of after just every THIRD letter.

Of course, Megan feels terrible about the extra ‘R.’ To make it up to him, Megan offered Dan a hug. He declined by walking VERY quickly in the other direction.

P.S. The shirt above is a little preview for next week’s Hog Roast and Charity Cup. Hope to see you there on the 26th!