Jeff Kunk: “You were still in diapers when I brought my donuts in.”

One of Choice One’s longest-running traditions is that new hires bring donuts to celebrate their first paycheck. So, when Caleb Sutherin, a former co-op turned full-time hire, pleaded guilty to not bringing in donuts, the discussion turned to sentencing. One proposed verdict was accrued donut interest, unexpectedly reopening a decades-old case with a new defendant: Jeff Kunk.

The charges against Jeff were simple. More than 30 years at Choice One and still no confirmed donut delivery. Unsurprisingly, Jeff disputed the charges. He argued that the allegations had grown old after appearing in multiple past Mindsets, then attempted to redirect blame to an innocent and unsuspecting colleague, before finally resting his case with the statement above, despite past evidence to the contrary.

Ultimately, the jury is still out. Did the donuts exist? Has the statute of limitations expired? Was Jeff framed? We may never know. What we do know is that for the time being, Kunk’s case remains open. Case adjourned.